The Married Life

After “happily ever after”, Cinderella got a divorce from Prince Charming. They had been less than happy with each other, as he seemed to be more in love with her glass slipper than with her. Things were good until he started asking her to wear the glass slipper everywhere they went. The last straw was when he had the slipper set at the head of the dinner table with them. Then the very last straw was when he set a glass of iced tea in front of the slipper. Then the very, very last straw was when he started taking the slipper out to balls. Then the very, very, very last straw was…well let’s just say Prince charming was not as charming as Cinderella had thought.

Cinderella decided to telephone her best friend Sleeping Beauty.

 She walked over to the magic mirror that she had bought at a garage sale. Standing in front of the mirror, she said “Sleeping beauty”.

The magic mirror answered back “Thou art the fairest of them all”. Cinderella tried again “Sleeping Beauty” she said.

“Thou art the fairest of them all”.
“You don’t have to say that anymore, said a frustrated Cinderella, you don’t work for her anymore”.

After a pause, the mirror said “OK? Well, great. I got so tired of kissing her fat…”

“It will feel so good to be honest for a change.”

Trying again, Cinderella said “Sleeping Beauty”.

Well Cinderella, you have been letting your self go lately, and you do have quite a few zits here and…” He didn’t get a chance to finish.

As Cinderella put the broken shards of glass into the trash can, her neighbor Princess Fiona was coming out of her castle at the same time.

“Oh, hi Fiona, how’s Shrek Jr.?”

“He’s fine. Just a normal bouncing baby ogre, but, how’ve you been?”

“Not great, I’ve been really lonely since the divorce. Should I go wait in the highest room in the tallest tower for a new true love to come get me?”

“No, no that doesn’t always work out the way you would expect it to. You should throw a ball. The Prince did leave you the castle right?”

“Yeah, all he wanted was my glass slippers. He did get the Ferrari though”. A ball sounds like a terrific idea!” I’ll go plan it right now! Oh, who should I invite?”

“Well you need some one that is athletic, so that you two can jog, and dance and…”

“Hey! Are you trying to say I’m fat!? Have you been talking to my mirror!?”

“No, I just think you need some one to have fun with. Well, I’ve gotta go now. I have to walk my dog. See you later.”

Cinderella called up her fairy godmother and asked her if she could make up and send out some invitation letters for the ball. Meanwhile, Cinderella and her mice went out to choose an outfit to wear to the ball. It would be the biggest ball anyone had ever seen!!!!

On the night of the ball, Cinderella looked down at the crowd from the top of the grand staircase. Something was wrong. Everyone at the ball was wearing a costume. She looked at a copy of the invitations.

It read, ‘You are cordially invited to the best darn costume ball this side of fairy tale land’

“Fairy Godmother!” she sighed. “Oh well, it’s a bit tacky, but it will still be fun”.

Cinderella slowly descended the staircase to the sweet strains of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”.

She mingled with the crowd and spoke to all her male guests. However, one guest stood out. He seemed taller than the rest, but she couldn’t tell who he was. He had come dressed as a king. The two danced the night away.

“Did you enjoy the archery games last week?”

“Oh yes, it was quite funny when they used Pinocchio as an arrow”.

“Oh yes, ha ha ha. So, umm who are you? She said staring up at his face.

He slowly reached up and took the crown off his head.  Cinderella stepped back and gasped in shock.

“Yes my dearest Cinderella it’s me. Oh how I’ve missed you”. 

“I didn’t recognize you with the bigger crown. How much you’ve changed?”

“Yes, it has been a long three days and oh how I’ve missed you”.

“I’ve missed you too, I was just so jealous of that slipper!”

“Oh, but I’ve changed, I now know that a slipper is just a shoe.”

“Oh, my love”.

Cinderella and the Prince shared a long passionate kiss. Suddenly, the clock began to chime. It was midnight. Cinderella looked up in horror at the clock and began to run out the front doors. She stopped herself and went back towards the smiling Prince. Cinderella shrugged, “Old habits are hard to break”.

The Prince and Cinderella held hands and walked into the ballroom of the castle together, they were both excited to share the joy of their reunion with the other guests. As the Prince walked into the ballroom, he tripped on the carpet. Something sparkly flew out from under him. Cinderella bent down and picked up the glass slipper. He had been wearing them! She threw it at the prince as the guests watched in amazement.

“You are crazy!” she screamed.

“I’m not crazy! You’re crazy! This whole ballroom is out of order…uh…I mean crazy!”